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Conversations with my friend

Stephan Vosloo

A couple of months ago I spent a stormy night on the side of a mountain in a twenty year old tent with a friend of more than twenty years. It was an attempt to patch up the damage that was done to our friendship by more than a year of not seeing each other’s faces. This is no ordinary friend. For many years we had struggled together to hear the voice of God and to see His face. We were given to one another to forge a collective vision of God in the heat of life.

We were there for one another when his two day old baby got meningitis and nearly died; when he had to get a heart bypass operation at the age of thirty eight and when his wife lost her fight against cancer shortly thereafter. When I suffered burn-out, nearly lost all I had and struggled with the pain of failure he heard God’s voice for me. Many times we cried together, found God’s voice together, rejoiced together. We made mistakes, were disobedient to the Voice, suffered immense loss through it but loved one another all the time. We were tempted to judge, to remain in unforgiveness and to walk away many times but we remained true to love and to friendship and in the end to the purposes of Jesus for our lives. But, silence and absence threatened our friendship and we had to get together.

Like our friendship, the week-end was not perfect. As if God wanted to show us a picture of our relationship. It was raining; the wind reached speeds that seriously threatened the integrity of the tent. And it was cold. But the fellowship was warm while we lay listening to the deafening wind and the groaning of the tent. We knew we had to do what we were doing.

Our friendship always had two things that raised it above other friendships: we often laid down our lives for each other and we were committed to honesty. The warm moments of “Do you remember?” in the rain and cold had elements of both these qualities.

This experience reminded me again about my other Friend who had to move far away and with whom I have communicated for the last thirty four years without seeing Him in person. Our lives and environments are so different that we just struggle to communicate. I heard Him speaking at times but mostly in the form of instruction or rebuke. Mostly to do with the work I had to do for Him – or did not do. There were times when I really felt his presence although I could not see Him. I did hear His voice at crucial times and I can honestly say that when His voice broke through my noise induced hearing loss, it was always life changing and did a lot to keep our friendship alive. But, the experience with my earthly friend just again emphasized the importance of a real experience with Him.

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